ADULTERY 

My Affair With Nancy....

Aboard the passenger ferry from Cozumel to Cancun, Mexico, November 1979.

What I am about to share contains a lot of information about what NOT to do. I believe that adultery is wrong. I could say I was sucked into the scheme...I could offer a myriad of excuses. What I did damaged my children more than I could ever hope to try to repair...I have suffered more than can be written in text. I would simply suggest...If you know someone having an affair...have them read this book....For if you show me someone having an affair...I can more than likely show you someone who is trying to inappropriately escape events from another time and place.

Even with the negative side of my experience...I was one day forced to put these feelings "on the shelf" and try to the make the best of a life my behavior had created. I felt I was becoming somewhat successful...because I allowed myself to feel very much in love with Nancy. I tried to talk about it openly...but it was mostly a one way street. Eventually the failed communications would overwhelm everything I had striven for. Perhaps this might also be a story about people not communicating their feelings...

If you are in love with someone...If you really care for them...before the day is over...make sure they know how you feel!

af-fair also af-faire: a romantic or passionate attachment typically of limited duration: an illicit sexual relationship

It seems a bit strange that I would remember the first time I met Nancy, as well as I do...for there was nothing unusual about the day. What may be remarkable about the memory...is how unremarkable the event was. It is nothing like remembering where you were at the moment you heard the news of the JFK assassination...nothing like that at all. Still...I remember it in much the same way.

I first met Nancy late on a February afternoon in 1977. I drove to the Veteran's Administration Hospital (VA) in Houston late in the afternoon in order to pick up my wife (Judy) after work.

Judy was working in a temporary position for what we believed would be a period of six months or so...as a Certified Corrective Therapist (CT) and was hired to fill a vacancy which would soon need to be filled when Nancy left for a period of maternity leave.

My first meeting with Nancy did not leave me with any special impressions.

Judy wanted to introduce me to her new friend at the VA. I watched from the driver's seat of the car as the two of them came out of the northeast exit from the building. The late afternoon February sun provided little more than a silhouette as the two women approached the car. Nancy was around five months pregnant and perhaps 30 pounds over weight. She had shoulder length blond hair which was not well styled or attended to. She wore no make up...and appeared as though she had just come from a day of physically exerting work...which was probably the case.

My first impression was positive...for I recall she seemed outwardly friendly, all in an appropriate sort of way.

I have no recollection of being immediately attracted to Nancy...for there was no reason for that to occur. The attraction only grew over a period of time...in what now appears to be a period of innocently cultivated friendship.

The CT clinic at the VA was staffed with about 10 therapists...all but two were men. All but two of the men were graduates of Texas A&M...and a surrealistic masculine atmosphere prevailed in the clinic. Several of the "Aggies" chewed tobacco on the job and spoke in a manner that betrayed their college education.

Nancy and Judy were naturally drawn to each other...and quickly became friends.

Judy would come home in the evenings and tell me of the progress of Nancy's pregnancy. Over time I learned a considerable amount of intimate details of Nancy's personal life...as Judy would share with me what they had talked about at work that day.

By the time Nancy left work on maternity leave they were good enough friends to continue near daily contact with each other, even away from work. Judy had a desire to have another child herself and Nancy's pregnancy provided an air of excitement for her about such prospects.

On June 17, 1977 Nancy gave birth to a daughter at Memorial Baptist Southwest Hospital in Bellaire. We drove across Houston some 25 miles or so from our home in Pearland to see Nancy and her new baby girl. I remember looking through the large windows of the maternity ward that evening...and meeting Sandra Lynn Thompson for the first time...

This occasion was also the first time I met Nancy's husband David.

I had learned a lot about David from Judy's evening conversations with me at home.

David was very large in physical stature. I am 6 foot 2 inches tall and weighed about 200 pounds at the time. David's presence gave me a sense of being of relatively meager in size.

David was approximately 6 foot 4 inches tall and weighed about 235 pounds. He had been playing semi-pro football for a new league in Houston at the time. David had served for four years in the Navy in a construction battalion (CB's) at various locations. When he was discharged from the Navy he continued to work in construction in his hometown near Boston, Massachusetts. He and Nancy met while she was attending Northeastern University.

In an effort to attend college on a football scholarship, David hitchhiked to Miami, Florida and applied as a "walk-on" for the University of Miami Hurricanes football team. He was signed and placed on full scholarship status...and played as a starting lineman for four years for the Hurricanes. Two of these years, Miami was ranked number one in the nation.

Nancy graduated with honors from Northeastern University with a B.S. degree in Physical Education.

She soon joined David in Miami and they were married in the backyard of Suzy Kuhn on Big Pine Key, whom Nancy had been close friends with since boarding school days at Westown School in southeastern Pennsylvania.

Nancy obtained a job as a swimming pool lifeguard at a fashionable country club near the University of Miami, in Coral Gables...and also enrolled at the university as a student. She obtained a second degree in Corrective Therapy from the University of Miami and again graduated with honors.

Nancy worked briefly for a private practice in Miami until David graduated from college. During this period, one of her male patients gave her a Rolex watch, which she later gave to her mother.

Nancy's income was apparently a significant boost to the couples lifestyle as they bought a boat and eventually a new royal blue Chevrolet Corvette sports car. Nancy seemed greatly impressed with Corvettes...and still carries the picture of her car in her wallet, just as many people would have pictures of their children.

A little more than 10 years later, Nancy would meet a patient who owned a near identical model Corvette.

Nancy often brought up the subject of how David struggled scholastically...and how much of his homework she actually did for him in order to get him through school.

Upon David's graduation, they moved to Houston where he went to work for W-K-M Valve Division in Missouri City. Nancy's stepfather, "Buck" Buchannan ( who later had an affair with a wealthy woman from Brazil and left her mother) was a senior executive with W-K-M and arranged for David to obtain a position as a plant maintenance department supervisor.

Nancy and David purchased a modest home in Sugarland, not far from the W-K-M plant. Prior to purchasing the home, Nancy sold her Corvette at a significant loss in order to make a down payment and qualify for the home loan.

Soon after arriving in Houston, Nancy obtained a job as a "Certified Corrective Therapist" at the V.A. Hospital. She initially was the only woman in a group of ten or so other CT's.

As the next few months unfolded, I was ever so slowly going to be drawn into the realm of Nancy's influence.

The four of us began to do more and more activities together. These included several weekend camping and boating trips, dinner at restaurants and the Quail Valley Country Club, the Houston Symphony and other performances such as the Bee Gees, Neil Diamond and Wayne Newton.

The Bee Gees concert was an experience I'll not soon forget.

The house lights were turned off and the band came on stage in the darkness.

The crowd was drawn to an incredible state of excitement as over and over and over again...with a deliberate slow increase in intensity of sound...the opening cords of "Tragedy" were played. In the darkness and excitement, Nancy took my hand in hers...with David standing on her other side.

It seemed the more we did together, the more I was becoming aware of a growing discourse between Nancy and David.

Late one Sunday afternoon in 1978, we received a telephone call from Nancy asking us for some help. She and David had driven up to East Texas for the weekend and had become embroiled in an ugly argument on the way home. David had dumped Nancy on the side of the road and driven off. She was calling from a pay phone north of Houston and asked if we could come get her.

On another occasion, we received a phone call from Nancy, early on a Saturday morning. She and David had been up much of the night arguing. During the peak of the argument, David had picked up Sandy, who was not more than a year old...and driven off in the night. Nancy was representing that she was in fear for Sandy's welfare...and was asking if we come help.

We drove to their home very early in the morning...not long after breakfast. When we arrived, David and Sandy had still not returned home. An hour or so later, we were sitting in their screened in patio room when David returned. After a few minutes, he and I went out into the back yard to talk.

Around this time Nancy and David were going to a "marriage counselor". Nancy lamented that one of David's problems was not communicating well. ( Much later she confided that David had a problem with premature ejaculation). 

David and I drove out to the Brazos River, a little north of Richmond, later that morning and found a location down on the river bottom to sit and talk. I was hoping to have something to offer which might save their marriage...but David seemed unable to open up and share with me how he was feeling. Regrettably, I realized that there was not much more I could do than to try to be available to help whenever possible.

In the next several months, a very slow insidious change seem to grow between Nancy and I.

I became aware that Nancy and I seemed to have a lot in common about how we felt about many things. I can not relate to any sense that I was being hustled...and I really don't want to feel that was the case. I simply became more and more aware of a sense that the friendship between Nancy and I was growing.

We went dancing at the top of the Galleria...in the Houston Oaks Hotel. We danced with each other's spouses...but Nancy began to ever so subtly begin to press closer and closer with me as we danced.

On Memorial day weekend of 1978 (Nancy's birthday is May 30th), the four of us went up to Nancy and David's cabin near Onalaska, at Lake Livingston for the weekend. The cabin was of new construction, but very much rustic. The north side had a "lean to" covered porch where we would sit outside and talk late into the evening.

Saturday evening we were sitting out on the porch drinking rum and coke and eating snacks...talking about anything and everything. Nancy had come to sit in the lawn chair to my left...all at an appropriate distance. Judy and David had gotten up to go inside to refresh the drinks and get more snacks. We had been joking and laughing for some time. I was just drunk enough to do something I perceived as silly...but the results were something very different than that...

I turned to Nancy and said, "Do you want to make out?"...expecting a silly statement in return. Instead, she leaned over and responded with an astonishingly passionate kiss.

I was at once taken back...as well as moved as to how the situation seemed to be changing.

During this same period I became more and more overwhelmed with depression. I have given a great deal of thought as to the relationship of my emotional state and it's affect on my becoming involved with Nancy. I am not trying to represent this as an excuse for my behavior. I have become aware of the belief that the affair that was beginning to unfold was very much the stuff of an escape from the depression. In September of 1978 I was never-the-less hospitalized for 30 days...and the grasp of depression overwhelmed even the aura of the affair.

I believe that many affairs appear to rooted in an individual feeling a need to escape an adverse dilemma. Sadly...many times the dilemma has nothing to do with the present relationship...but is from another time and place. The destructive consequences of an affair are indifferent to such reasons...and one is at risk for exposure to consequences and pain far greater than the original malady ever would have presented. Affairs should often be viewed as a symptom...and regarded as an inappropriate and ineffective means of dealing with internal emotional conflict.

It is very flattering...even exciting, to have someone falling in love with you in an affair. It's fun, more accurately a wonderful feeling...but it is often also something which results in tragic consequences for multiples of related parties. The media would serve us well by trying to more accurately portray the negative aspects of affairs...instead of the sexual overtones and lesser consequences. It is difficult to convey the more realistic potential outcome of an affair...when hormones are flowing in an overwhelming sense of ecstasy. It's curious why the subject is not more often scientifically addressed.

I will again repeat myself...as I have often have stated..."Show me someone having an affair...and I will show you at least one person who is escaping a problem".

In the fall of 1978 I was pre-occupied with trying to recover from the adversity of being hospitalized and sense of failing. It took me a long, long time to see the actual strengths and empowerment achieved in that period.

Nancy came to visit me quite often while I was in the hospital...and I very much appreciated her encouragement and support. I became aware of the qualities in Nancy that allowed her to be such a successful therapist. Her to caring became an invaluable resource...but it is also easy to more than just "like" someone with such qualities.

Nancy and David's relationship seemed to be steadily deteriorating. I became less aware of David's presence and slowly...ever so slowly engrossed in Nancy's friendship.

Nancy, Judy and I began to have picnic lunches together in Herman Park. I remember feeling as though I had two very good friends and companions. I was deeply appreciative of the encouragement and positive influence of both Nancy and Judy...as I tried to make a permanent recovery from the grips of depression.

Somewhere in the period, Nancy began asking me to meet her in Herman Park after work. We would meet at the statue of Sam Houston on the north side of the park...and then walk along the reflection pool, often stopping to sit on a park bench and talk. It was little more than the stuff of a growing friendship.

At times the stuff of a growing friendship began to more resemble the stuff of falling in love... The dilemma seemed to provide a sense of happiness and excitement...enshrouded with a sense of guilt...

The Beginning of...The Point of No Return...

During the early spring of 1979, both David and Judy had traveled to out of town conventions or meetings for the week. David was in Atlanta and Judy went to Minnesota with the children to visit her mother on the way to a CT training seminar in St. Louis.

Nancy was to attend the same seminar in St. Louis...which would not start until the following week.

I was also supposed to fly to St. Louis where I would take care of the children while Judy and Nancy were at the seminar together.

Nancy asked me to come over to her house..."for company" and she would cook me a steak dinner. In a desire not to spend the time alone and a chance to see Nancy...I agreed to accept the dinner invitation.

There was a part of me that did not feel altogether comfortable about going...but I set those feelings aside...and decided to go.

Nancy called prior to me leaving home...and asked that I meet her at a nearby community swimming pool in Sugarland. It was apparent that she was modestly uncomfortable with the stigma of having a strange car in her driveway and the neighbors seeing a male visitor at her home...when they knew her husband was away. Up until this occasion, the relationship had remained innocent...and there seemed little harm in respecting Nancy's request.

I met Nancy at the swimming pool...just as requested. She drove there in her blue Dodge Colt compact station wagon. Somewhat puzzled...I was asked to get in the back seat...by myself.

Once in the back seat, Nancy asked me to lay down... 

 Photograph of Nancy taken on her 30th birthday...May 30, 1980, nearly a year after this described incident...driving the same Dodge Colt station wagon as was used to pick me up at the swimming pool parking lot and smuggle me, covered in a blanket to her home in Sugarland. 

Next...she then she covered me with a light weight blanket which she had obviously brought along for the occasion...

Nancy then drove the short distance to her house...pulled into the driveway and opened the garage door with the electronic opener...pulled into the garage and shut the door once again. Once inside with the door closed, she uncovered me and invited me to come into the house.

The clandestine style arrival seemed to provide a sense of arousal that something unusual was about to happen.

Once inside, Nancy seemed to display almost a curiously aggressive nature. She was wearing a light blue summer weight dress with a revealing low cut front. She poured a glass of wine and began cooking the steaks. We talked of nothing particular through the dinner preparation...and I recall little about the dinner...aside from the sense that something unfamiliar seemed to be happening.

After supper we found ourselves standing in the living room. I can't recall the conversation... I seemed to remember having another glass of wine... and we were embraced, standing in the middle of the living room. Nancy kissed me several times...took my hand and led me into her bedroom.

This occasion then was the first time we made love...in Nancy's own home...in David's own king sized bed. There is not much I can recall about the moment. Nancy liked having sex...she was enthusiastic...in a sexy sort of way....and it was extremely easy to savor the experience. It never-the-less felt that it was not "sex for the sake of sex"...for I was falling in love with Nancy. We laid in each other's arms for a while and then got up and took a shower together. A short while later, Nancy drove me back to my car, still parked at the swimming pool...and I drove home.

I was made aware that things were now quite different. I also felt a sense of having done something I should not have done. I was becoming embroiled in a dilemma...of falling in love with Nancy...and feeling it was wrong. The more profound sense of excitement prevailed...and the pall of depression seemed to have disappeared.

A couple of days later, Nancy called me from work and asked me if I wanted to meet her at a motel on the Southwest Freeway near Kirby drive. She had already made a reservation...and explained to me that she would pay for it.

I met her...just as she requested.

We arrived at the motel around 1 PM. Nancy gave me her Visa card and I walked into the office to register. I asked the clerk if it would be OK to leave the key in the room when we left.

Nancy was dressed in a flattering, bright yellow pair of slacks and pull over shirt that day. She had lost quite a bit of weight since her pregnancy and now had a most attractive figure. I had my camera along that day..and took her picture.

Photo taken at out second opportunity for intimacy ...the motel on the Southwest Freeway near Kirby Drive in Houston, summer 1979. (Film exposure by "available light")

Our time together in the motel seemed all too brief. The moment was so wonderful to share...but as time flew by so quickly, it almost seemed like emotions would have been less taxed by not meeting in this way.

The meeting seemed only to exacerbate the escalating desire to be with Nancy more.

I have since often wondered about the risk of exposure involved in using the credit card...and the fact that one could consider that David actually "subsidized" Nancy's cuckoldry through her use of his Visa account.

During our marriage Nancy always made certain that she was the one to handle the finances, pay the bills and do the income tax return. There is good reason to believe that she was doing the same thing in her marriage with David. The records were kept in sort of a cryptic shorthand...making it very difficult to determine the actual status of any account. Upon further reflection...it also made it possible for her to set large amounts of money aside without being detected. Could she have done that? I personally overheard her mother telling Nancy how she had done the same thing. She certainly had been given the suggestion.

The following week, Nancy and I flew to St. Louis to join Judy and the children. We had reservations in a Ramada Inn on the far south side of the city as I remember it.

Nancy was placed in a room which adjoined that of Judy and mine.

We all went to dinner and did some minor touring together.

Nancy had spent a brief time in St. Louis during her summers while she was in college at Northeastern...as her mother had, by then, become remarried to Buck. W-K-M had a large railway car manufacturing plant in St. Louis...and Nancy had learned her way around the area.

While staying in the motel, Nancy would coax me into her room. After quickly closing the door, she would embrace me as I received yet one more passionate kiss.

Nancy began to ask me when I was going to tell Judy about us.

The day before we were going to return to Houston, we all drove out to a municipal park in southwestern St. Louis...in part so the kids could work off some energy...and in part...to provide a location where we could talk.

In only a few minutes after we arrived at the park...I worked up the courage to tell Judy about what was going on. What happened next, will remain scarred in my memory for all eternity. I can not think about it without feeling sickened in the pit of my stomach.

Judy and I were standing by a picnic table...out of ear shot of the children. I turned to her and stated words to the effect that Nancy and I had become much more involved in a relationship than she was apparently aware of...and that I was thinking about getting a divorce...and that Nancy and I had were even talking of marriage.

At that instant...something happened with such an emotional impact that I find it near impossible to portray in words...what I visually and emotionally experienced.

Judy fainted.

She did not faint in a delayed sort of manner...it happened as though she had been executed by a shot to the head with a high powered rifle.

I have never seen any human being collapse and fall in the manner as I witnessed...except for the famous news footage from the Viet Nam War...where the captured Viet Cong was executed by an angry Vietnamese officer...in the middle of the street in Saigon, by a point blank shot to the back of the head.

In one instant...I was forced to reckon with the cruelty of what I had perpetrated. Nancy was standing only a few feet away...and witnessed it just as I did. To my knowledge, she never said a word...and the whole time I have known her...she has never spoken of what happened that afternoon.

When Judy became conscious...she almost immediately began to talk of wanting to leave the park...wanting to leave St. Louis...not wanting to go to Houston...and wanting to go back home to Minnesota. I was at once filled with her pain and her hurt...for I was the one who was responsible for it.

I have since sought to express my apologies on many, many, many occasions. Judy has generally been very gracious over the years...for I think somehow she understood the pain I was suffering... both then and as time moved on. I somehow sense that I could never apologize adequately to soften Judy's hurt. What I did was really wrong. Not everyone who becomes involved in an affair in this manner ever has to face the person they hurt in this way.

Over the years, Judy was generally very fair with me. I was able to have a liberal visitation with my sons...but with time, it just was not sufficient to make up for my absence.

I am convinced that Judy was not totally forgiving...for she appears to have slowly...ever so subtly steered my youngest son away from my influence. She vehemently denies such a conscious effort, but it is in part her responsibility just the same. In spite of years of calling him almost every weekend...driving tens of thousands of miles for weekend visits and birthdays...my youngest son has never...ever called me on his own or has been the one to initiate a request for a visit. He will soon be 20 years old...and I have no idea of his welfare or status.

After 18 years of energy...trying to be a father...I realized I could not overcome the atmosphere he is exposed to on a daily basis. He clearly could care less about his relationship with me.

Two years ago I called him and stated that I would no longer continue to try...in that it was clear to me that he had no desire what-so-ever to consider me as someone who is significant in his life. I acknowledged to him that while I am his father...I am also a person. I have feelings as well. I expressed that I was beginning to more and more be made to feel like a patsy. I then stated that there would be no more financial or other support until such time as I was able to believe that it mattered to him how I was made to feel as well. At 18 years of age...he was capable of being responsible for his behavior.

If you are about to become involved in an affair...you need to fully understand what will likely happen to the relationship you have with your children...and that there is a huge portion of circumstances which you will be absolutely powerless to influence...no matter how hard you try...or how much you desire.

While there are many who would ultimately blame me for the circumstances...I never-the-less am compelled to believe that every child is entitled to know the care and love of both parents. The custodial parent has no right...in any case, to steer a child's emotions away from the non resident parent...for it is ultimately the child who will perceive rejection by the absentee parent...when in fact those feelings are largely the result of the manipulation of the custodial parent. Ultimately...it becomes the child's loss.

Many such children grow to adulthood in anger...

And it is then many of these children who turn to addictions and even crime...under the socially adverse atmosphere. I am convinced this is where at least 1/2 (or more) of our prison population comes from...and a similar percentage of addicts of all sorts.

Look at what happened to Nancy...(and ultimately what happened to me)...and utilmately both of our families and children.

Through all of this...I acknowledge that the one person who could have stopped all of this from happening to my family...is me.

The continuing relationship with Nancy...

By mid summer of 1979 Nancy and I were having multiple rendezvous per week.

Most of the time, my "weekend" days off actually fell within the week. On many such days I would pick up some hamburgers and either meet Nancy at Herman Park or pick her up at the VA hospital. The CT department had it's own exit on the west side of the building...and normally employees parked in the adjacent west parking lot. Nancy had me meet her in the east parking lot...as she would exit through the northeast main entrance...to avoid the other CT's (and Judy) going to lunch at the same time.

By this time Judy was well aware that Nancy and I were seeing each other...although I don't believe she was aware of the extent or frequency of the meetings.

During this period I had a Chevrolet Blazer...similar to, but not as long as a "Suburban". The rear seat was removed from the Blazer shortly after I purchased it...and was replaced by a thick foam rubber pad, nearly the exact same size as a double bed mattress...which was then covered by a blanket or sheet.

On rainy days Nancy and I frequently would park under a big oak tree in a relatively remote part of Herman Park, just north of the VA. On such occasions we often became passionately involved...and although these "lunch breaks" rarely resulted in conventional sex... I was the recipient of oral sex on multiple occasions.

The romance seemed to be "on the fast track" by mid summer of 1979...and Nancy and David separated, pending a divorce. Their home was placed on the market and Nancy and Sandy lived with her mother and stepfather for a brief period.

Nancy and I had a few relatively conventional "dates" during this period.

Her parent's home was on Quail Creek drive, just off one of the greens at the Quail Valley Country Club. In order to pick up Nancy for a date, I would have to arrive after dark and was instructed to park in an apartment parking lot to the north of the golf course, walk across the green and pick up Nancy at her mother's back door.

The explanation for this request was Nancy's growing fear of David...and she clearly suggested that she believed he was stalking her. (This expression further entraps me through a desire to help her).

There were numerous other diversions made to our rendezvous so as to not appear in the same place as well as provoke suspicion. We went to the beach in Galveston a few times...again usually during the week. The beaches were not nearly as crowded on weekdays...and we often enjoyed a fair degree of privacy.

One trip to the beach I vividly recall involved driving to the far east end of Galveston Island...down onto the beach and across the jetty onto a flat sand spit. (A brief scene in the movie "Terms of Endearment" was filmed at the same location...the part where Jack Nicholson was driving the Corvette, while sitting on top of the driver's seat). The water at this location is protected by granite "jetties" and is relatively calm...as well as very shallow for several hundred feet from the shore...although murky and seldom very clear.

Nancy and I parked close to the shoreline, stripped to our bathing suits and ran into the water. We eventually reached a point about 300 feet from shore, where the water was a little more than waist deep. A moment later Nancy playfully pushed me over...and while I was unbalanced, grabbed my swim trunks and pulled them completely off of me. She then took a deep breath, made a quick tuck under the water and repeatedly performed oral sex on me once again. What made this occasion more memorable than others...was that there was a crew of county workers nearby, cleaning the beach that afternoon. They kept looking our direction...but I imagine that had no real idea as to what was going on beneath the water.

There were other times during our drive back to Houston, when Nancy would lift up the bottom of my walking shorts, lean over from the passenger seat and lay her head in my lap...and perform oral sex as we drove for miles along the freeway. Most of the time this was at night...but not always. Similar events occurred driving on the "Pearce Elevated" (I45 downtown) and Southwest Freeway.

Nancy once remarked at how David would enjoy similar treatment while driving through Miami.

There were a couple of occasions when we rented an airplane and flew to a remote beach on the south end of Matagorda Island. There is a man made ship channel cut through the island, which permits large ships to enter Matagorda Bay, about 20 statute miles south southeast of the town of Palacios. The cut through the island is lined with large granite rocks, much like the jetties at Galveston. There is a flat "oyster shell" road on either side of the cut which apparently was used in the construction of the jetty...and the island is uninhabited. It makes a perfect place to land a light aircraft...as you can then taxi right up to the beach after the landing roll out.

 The landing strip at Matagorda Island, southeast of Palacios., where we flew to spend almost whole days together...isolated from everything except an occasional low flying offshore helicopter. The beach and shoreline...site of some of our most romantic excursions...are barely 100 feet from this parking spot. 

On weekends, there are frequently 2 or 3 aircraft parked by the jetty. During the week...it's as isolated a location as might be found in many 3rd world nations. The only interruption to our love making on the beach would be an occasional PHI offshore helicopter who would spot us and pass no more than 100 feet above.

Another favorite place which we would go to on weekends was Lake Travis...about 15 miles northwest of Austin. There was a remote, undeveloped park area called "Hippy Hollow" on the east shore of Lake Travis, about a mile north of Mansfield Dam. (The same location now forbids nudity...but a similar location exists about two miles further north, complete with paved parking lots...although apparently is more frequented by the gay population now).

Nancy and I would drive to Austin early on Saturday mornings...loaded with inflatable rafts and a large cooler full of ice and Riunite wine...cheese, pretzels and similar snacks. We typically arrived in Austin by around 11 AM...just as the morning low clouds were burning off.

"Hippy Hollow" consisted of extensive outcroppings of rock with treacherous, steep, narrow trails to the water's edge. The more treacherous the trail...the greater the likelihood it would lead to an area of relative isolation and privacy along the water's edge. The mid day summer sun was capable of inflicting a really harsh sunburn...and we would often spend the peak sun hours in the water. 

There were occasions when we would be in the water and drift around a point of land...out of sight from the other "sun worshipers"...and Nancy would press close to me...with intimacy only moments away. On one occasion we were paddling on the floats as Nancy seemed to be wanting to play "follow the leader". She eventually worked her way a few hundred feet north of the principle area...and out of sight of the other bathers. Nancy coaxed me up a steep trail into an undeveloped area where we discovered a grassy opening among surrounding mesquite and junipers. She gently laid me back onto the grass and once again performed oral sex...followed by a prolonged period of love making in the hot afternoon sun.

As often had been the case...I frequently had my camera along. I took dozens of photographs of Nancy at Lake Travis in the nude...both in and out of the water...trying to capture her beauty as I perceived it to be. (In the interest of maintaining a reasonable degree of taste...and in respect for the Nancy I once knew...these photographs need not be displayed. They never-the-less represent to me an art form and an effort...the capture of a moment in time when I once believed in a person as dear to me as life itself).

Saturday evening we would stay in a motel in Austin, nursing our "all over" sunburn...and then would be up and back out to Lake Travis once again by mid morning Sunday.

We would stay late into the afternoon on Sunday...usually not returning home to Houston before dark.

Talk of things becoming permanent...

As the summer of 1979 progressed, the love affair between Nancy and myself had escalated into as an intense affair as I would think is possible between two people.

It seemed almost to be an ideal relationship. We had many things and feelings in common, she was a wonderful lover...and I grew to love and admire her dearly.

Nancy rented a 2 bedroom townhouse near Quail Valley and within a couple of weeks I moved in with her.

I abandoned the needs and interests of virtually all other people in my life...in the pursuit of Nancy and the illusive realm of happiness.

I can think of no better way of stating what happened than I became committed to the sole pursuit of my happiness and the willful abandonment of the welfare of all other persons whom I was responsible for. I can not say with any sense of scientifically backed researched data...but I am of the belief that my behavior was the result of an intense need to escape years of depression. I continued to pursue my illusive goal as though it was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...

It became very easy to pursue the idea of wanting to marry Nancy. We began to seriously talk about it.

By this time Nancy and David were divorced...and Judy and I had separated, having begun earnest talk and planning of the things about divorce.

A very serious problem remained writhing within me...which presented itself as virtually having no satisfactory resolution.

I was keenly aware that I had no dislike for Judy. The affair was not built around any annoyance or dislike for my wife...it seemed wholly of the stuff to escape the pall of depression. I still very much felt a love and respect for Judy...and I anguished over the thought of hurting her. It is this sort of torment...and irresolvable feelings that are created by the conduct of affairs...that make adultery among the most cruel and tormenting of human behaviors.

In spite of the hurt inflicted on Judy...I optioned to continue my involvement with Nancy...a decision that would eventually create more pain and hurt within myself...than all of the prior depression periods combined.

Judy began to press for a divorce by the early fall of 1979.

Nancy began planning a "pre-honeymoon" trip to Cozumel. Neither of us had been there before and we knew it's reputation for beach, diving and other water activities. It seemed like a perfect spot for romance as well. She offered to make all of the arrangements and pay for all of the expenses. It was an enticement I could not refuse...despite my extremes of torment and guilt for what I was doing to Judy and my children.

If this is not suggestive of the intense need to flee pain...or an example of personal greed for happiness...for I am not sure what other form of human behavior could surpass it.

Judy hired an attorney and filed for a divorce. I felt an unexplainable sense of helplessness as the divorce just seemed to take on a "form of it's own". It was not what I wanted to happen...but then I was willing to just let it happen.

Judy and I drove to the courthouse in Angleton for our divorce hearing in our Honda Accord. She was driving and I was riding in the right front passenger seat.

As we drove along state highway 35, near the Chocolate Bayou bridge, I turned to look at Judy and asked...."Why are we doing this? I still love you very much." Judy seemed incapable of making a response...or to be able to turn the car around and drive back home to Pearland. We continued the drive to the courthouse in Angleton...answered a few bureaucratic questions...and in a few minutes we were divorced.

In less than a month later...Nancy and I were on a DC9 enroute to Cozumel.

 Nancy and I flew to Cozumel from Houston in November 1979 as a "pre-honeymoon" vacation. In the above photo she turned to pose for a quick picture as we walked toward the terminal from the plane.

We spent a week in Cozumel at the "Cozumel Carribe" hotel on the northwest side of the island...which at the time was relatively nice. It was located right on the beach and we made the most of our time together.

Aside from the intense period of romantic activities, there was also some time just to simply lay back on the beach. We took several drives into town and a couple around the island. In the evening we went into town for dinner and then made like a tourista.

The "Cozumel Carribe" beach, November 1979.

The water at Cozumel was so clear that is made activities such as occurred at the Galveston beach pretty risky. Underwater visibility was frequently in excess of 100 feet. Nancy repeated her underwater oral sex maneuver on at least one occasion, relatively early in the morning, before there was a significant crowd at the hotel beach front...almost exactly abeam the location of this beach chair.

The time in Cozumel was an experience of extremes of emotions for me. I was excited about the trip as well as enthused about being with Nancy. It is unlikely that another couple has ever shared a more romantic time together.

There were never-the-less intervals of time in Cozumel when I was deeply troubled. About mid way through the week I woke up about 2 AM and began quietly crying. I don't remember if Nancy was aware of why I had woken up or not. All of a sudden the realism of what had happened and the tragedy I had created came over me...and it was as though I had awakened in the middle of a nightmare.

I desperately wanted to call and talk to Judy in Houston. I got up and got dressed and went down to the hotel lobby to find a phone. I placed an overseas phone call to Judy in Houston...which took the better part of a half hour, due to language and connection problems. The call finally rang through... The phone rang...and rang...and rang. I found out later that Judy and my sons had left for Minnesota early that morning.

I obviously was in a confused state emotionally...and I began to realize that the state of confusion in itself could become a problem.

I went back up to the room and sat and talked with Nancy for a long while through the night. I told her everything about my feelings...including that I loved her very much...but the pain of what had happened was tormenting me, almost beyond control. There did not seem to be an acceptable alternative.

It was about this point in time that I began to give serious consideration as to what I needed to do to try and find happiness for myself. I had pretty well "botched things up" for a lot of people I cared very much about. There were many of my closest friends and even relatives who seemed to not be able to understand the pain I had experienced or the rationale for choosing the path I had chosen. (I will acknowledge that it is arguable that I used any "rationale" or good judgment...only reactive efforts to feelings within me).

I was also becoming aware of a sense that it was unfair to Nancy that I continue to feel this way...or allow her to be represented to me as something that had caused all of my problems. In an act of sincere appreciation for her friendship...I decided that I would have to simply accept responsibility for my part in what had happened.

It was now too late to change the course of events.

For lack of a better way of expressing it...I, figuratively speaking...put my feelings about what had happened "on the shelf" and began trying to accept Nancy as somebody that really was important in my life and allow myself to fall in love with her in the manner I had always envisioned that an ideal relationship would entail.

There were occasional periods in the first couple of years where I would find myself in yet another reassessment period...but I slowly, with time, was able to place myself in what I believed was a perfect martial relationship. It did not happen automatically...and it often did not come easily.

Nancy and I started a relationship together in all of the wrong ways...for many of the wrong reasons. I would not recommend this path to anyone.

In time I began to appreciate the difficulties we had overcome...and I even began to feel that in many ways, those difficulties had given us a great deal of strength.

I would occasionally wonder if Nancy had been able to achieve the same sense of accomplishment. There are many reasons I had to believe that she had done so, as well. When you go through so much...to have and cherish something so worthwhile...it seems to provide a sense of an the existence of an unbreakable bond.

There are other clear symptoms to suggest that Nancy was tormented by the residual impact over our affair...an perhaps much more...from another time and place.

I have later come to reflect on this feeling of having worked so hard to achieve a sense of such a strong bond...as being why it was so devastating to me... when I found out Nancy had once again had yet another...affair.

It was as though I had come to believe in her...almost as though she was my reason for being...she was my life blood...even perhaps one could say I worshipped her. The words to the song, "Everything I do, I do for you" express pretty well how I felt. It's a very difficult song for me to listen to. I traumatically learned that it can be very dangerous to put that much belief into another human being.

I have devoted an enormous amount of energy in trying to understand people with such complex personalities as Nancy. There are a great many individuals who are convinced I should be very angry at her for what she did. There are indeed periods when I do feel angry. The overriding feeling is a sense of caring if she will ever be OK. It's very difficult to once have cared about someone to such a degree...and have them disappoint you to such an extreme.

The Marriage ...and the Affair Continues

We flew back to Houston from Cancun and into a world that was somewhat different than it was when we had left for Mexico.

We continued to live in the townhouse at Quail Valley for a short while, then moved back into my home in Pearland. Judy and I had agreed to put the house up for sale...but it was considered best if it was occupied for the interim period.

In early December I flew to Minneapolis for my youngest son's second birthday. I did not miss being with my sons for their birthday...or within a day of their birthdays for 18 years...in addition to many scores of other visits, weekend trips and vacations.

By mid December we discussed getting married. I don't think either one of us had thought we would actually marry that soon...and I'm not sure if there was a lot of sound judgment being applied. We both felt external influences to get married...and succumbing to that effort, we drove to Angleton during the afternoon of December 21, 1989 and bought a marriage license. We were directed to a Justice of the Peace in Alvin...and so drove north on the all too familiar state highway 35 to find the JP's house late in the afternoon.

There was another couple there at the JP's about our same age, who also got married...and we agreed, with each other that total strangers were to be reciprocal audiences for each other's wedding. After the ceremony we discussed going out to dinner with them to celebrate...but instead Nancy and I drove home. I don't remember anything about the night...not even what we had for supper, although I seem to remember going out afterwards for a steak dinner...and keeping the wine glasses as a keepsake of the occasion. It seemed as though there was an aura of regret to the manner in which we were married.

Nancy and I promised each other we would get married in a church again some day...but it never happened.

It was several months before the house finally sold...and Nancy and I soon found ourselves shopping for a new home of our own.

Nancy proved to be a pretty good shopper...and we soon found a brand new home which had gone unsold for over a year. It was pretty much perfect for our needs and only about four blocks away from the original house. We soon found ourselves moving for the third time in barely a year's time...but this time it seemed as though it would be for keeps.

Our house had four bedrooms upstairs...with a relatively large master bedroom. The MBR featured a large bathroom with dual walk in closets, dual wash basins in the counter and a single large stand up shower.

David had taken the king size bed in the divorce settlement...and Nancy's mother offered to buy us a new one as a wedding gift.

Our sexual activity continued with a full head of steam for many, many months into the marriage. I began to reflect on how wonderful it was to have someone to share such an intense relationship with. There was virtually nothing that either one of us would not consider...if the other one thought it exciting or interesting to try.

On March 21, 1980...three months after we were married, we rented a Cessna 172 aircraft at Clover Field in Friendswood. It was a beautiful sunny VFR day...and I climbed out with an air of excitement. By the time we reached the area of Galveston's West Beach...I steadied the aircraft on a heading so as to parallel the shoreline...and established an altitude as close as the Skyhawk could be flown...at exactly five thousand, two hundred and eighty feet.

Next...I slid my seat back to the full aft position...

Recognizing the challenge about to be presented, Nancy stripped down completely nude...and we joined the "Mile High Club"...one mile above Galveston.

According to the entry in my pilot flight logbook, the flight was of 1.5 hours duration and included a "touch and go" at the Pearland airport.

A few days later Nancy presented me with a trophy...complete with inscribed lettering..."MILE HIGH CLUB...Skyhawk II Cessna 172 N9960E, 3-21-80, 1:05 PM"

The "Mile High Club" Trophy related to activities over Houston and Galveston, which Nancy awarded me in 1980.

I've often heard other pilot's allude to the qualifications of the "Mile High Club"...and recently someone wrote to the editor of "Flying" magazine and asked if there was really any such organization. I was quite tempted to send in a photograph of the trophy...but never quite found the time to do it.

Later that spring I again flew to Minnesota for my oldest son's birthday on May 5th. By this time Judy had gotten a job at a home for severely disabled children and young adults in Windom...which is about 130 miles southwest of Minneapolis. I usually tried to spend about four or five days on my visits. We would sightsee, go fishing and I even found a local airplane to rent at the Windom airport. (My oldest son has just competed his masters degree in Aerospace Engineering...graduating Suma Cum Laude).

Aside from my visit with my two sons...the most memorable part of that trip was my return home.

The Northwest Airlines gates at Hobby airport are on the far distant end of the concourse from the terminal building. Nancy met me at the gate that day dressed in a white...thin (revealing, but not sheer) jump suit with no bra and only panty hose on beneath. I was dressed in a blue business suit, white shirt and tie as I walked down the concourse...dressed like every other business traveler in the airport...but did I ever feel like I was getting stared at!

Nancy looked so incredibly sexy that day...as I likely will never soon forget. I felt really relieved when we made it to the car...and no longer had to conceal my embarrassment. The honeymoon went on high blower when we got back home. This is one occasion when I did not have the presence of mind to take a picture...

That summer we made several trips to the beach...including Lake Travis for Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Labor Day weekends.

Nancy almost never wore a bra when we were out together shopping or dining...and she certainly knew how to keep me interested.

We spent the first year landscaping our yard and completing the furnishings. We both enjoyed the yard work and soon had one of the nicest lawns and landscaping in the area.

It was also during this period when a few things about Nancy began to become troubling in a compassionate sort of way.

One such occasion occurred about 1 AM on a Saturday morning. I was at work at Hobby airport on the Midnight to eight shift and had just left Nancy alone at home. Nancy was still up and stirring around the house as I departed the house.

I received a telephone call from Nancy...and she stated, "I am in the kitchen and want to go to the bedroom...if you do not hear from me in two minutes, call the police".

I was unable to have her rationalize that here fear was inappropriate...I could only sense that what I was saying was of any benefit. It troubled me that this otherwise brilliant person was so vulnerable to the kinds of rears something I had long since left in my childhood.

Her uncontrolled fear of the dark would later come back to haunt me.

Our move to the north country...

In early January, 1983 we moved from Pearland, Texas to Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

There is a scene in the movie "Terms of Endearment" which pulls at my emotions. It's a very brief scene...and unless you are a Texan...you probably never noticed it.

The scene I am talking about is when they were moving to Iowa...and driving north on Interstate 35...they passed the sign near the Red River which says..."You Are Now Leaving Texas".

There is a lot about what I feel...all wrapped up in what happened to me when I left Texas...that comes to my consciousness...when I see that sign.

What is more...are the parallels in the two stories. Mine...and the story as depicted in the movie, have an amazing amount of parallels. Both are rooted on Houston, involved a move to the Midwest, had a most unusual mother-in-law...and adultery.

The move to South Dakota seemed to be a most positive answer to my wanting to be able to see my sons. I envisioned that things would feel much better within me, once we were settled.

We bought a house in a rural area east of Sioux Falls, near a bluff that overlooked the Big Sioux River. From our back porch, we could see three states. It was a beautiful view in summer.

In the winter...it was close to a nightmare.

Our first winter in South Dakota turned out to be the worst winter in 80 years. It was a constant challenge to meet the demands of the harsh weather. There were alternately incredible blizzards and snowfall which would be blown into drifts one can only appreciate first hand. The weather in that part of the U.S. totally dictates what you will and will not do for days on end. I found it difficult to convey to friends in Houston what it was like.

This scene is about 1/4 mile west of our home in South Dakota. The car in the picture is the same one which Nancy had "smuggled me into her garage" in Sugarland. The roadway scene here is a north-south road...which would frequently get "plugged" in the strong northwest winter winds. Two nights before this photo was taken, the actual temperature was -30F with winds gusting to 55 MPH...producing a wind chill beyond the extremes of most charts...around -105F!

 In spite the weather, we had little problem adapting to life in Sioux Falls. It's a near perfect size city as far as I am concerned.

Nancy was not able to get a similar position at the VA in Sioux Falls as she had once had in Houston, despite having an outstanding recommendation. (Her recommendation was so good that she was almost embarrassed about it...and we once thought it was too good to be believable). She was limited to only part time work as an assistant to one of the doctors there.

One of the first people we met after moving into our home was a couple about our same age. The photograph below was taken in their front yard...about 150 yards west of where we lived. 

Sioux Falls, South Dakota, December 1984.

Nancy and her new friend "Donna"...soon began sharing intimate conversation...which was in turn shared with me. Nancy learned that the woman had discovered that her husband was having an affair. He was a Captain on the Sioux Falls Fire Department and physically trim and athletic. He was also in the South Dakota Army National Guard...where he spent a great deal of his weekends...both with his guard duties and a woman who was also in the guard. 

Donna had little idea to what an extent she had planted a seed in Nancy's mind. Despite becoming friends with her husband and having several interests in common...my gut instincts became active to heightened suspicion in the months to follow.

Return to Introduction   ---   Who Is Nancy?  ---  Kent's Story  ---   The D.N.A. Paternity Test

 Espionage  --- Who is the Father?  ---  What I Believe

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